Durable Dad with Tommy Geary Tommy Geary

A midlife crisis happens when we stop feeling excited about life.

But it's really just a calling – A calling to change or do something different. 

It's the start of what Joseph Campbell calls your "Hero's Journey." 

When you answer the calling and embark on the adventure to make a change, you start to feel more alive. 

You'll hit challenges, discomfort, probably over some some fear, but you'll return with a new set of skills, wisdom, and attributes you can take to you family and your community. 
Some common callings men experience during mid-life are to:
- get healthier
- stop being a jerk
- do more of what you love
- be more present
- or something else entirely. Only you know what's been nagging at you.

Midlife crisis or not, today's episode will lead you to answer a few questions to decide what lights you up so you can start doing more of that. 

When we're excited about life, we bring more positive energy to everyone around us. 

If you feel isolated, you’re not the only one. 
We don’t make friends as easily as we did in high school and college. 
Yet, having guys at your back – guys you can count on – is something every man can use in his life. 
To talk about real stuff – below the surface conversations. 
To check in when things are rough. 
All men need that. 
Today’s episode talks about the benefits of fellowship vs friendship, and how to go about creating both in your life. 

Learning to say you’re sorry is one of the best tools you can have in your tool belt.
Because we all screw up. Especially with our kids.
If we learn how to apologize, not only do we build trust and respect with our kids, but we model what it means to own up to our mistakes. 
Today, I’m going to cover five rules that’ll help you apologize effectively:
1: It’s never too late.
2: Don’t do it while you’re still heated.
3: Don’t blame your kid
4: Don’t apologize for your anger. Apologize for your actions.
5: Drop your expectations.

Our calendars reflect our priorities.

So take a look at your calendar – Is it full of appointments that matter?

For most guys, what matters more than anything is your relationship with your wife and kids. Quality time with your family.

But if you're like most guys, that time is tough to squeeze in on a regular basis.

We let soccer games, work meetings, and our phones get in the way. 

This podcast is a reminder of what matters most.

Your kids are only this age once. Tune in for motivation to make a shift so you don't look back at this year and wonder what you did with it.

Why do some of us avoid conflict? Especially with our wife?
The main reason is because we look at conflict as a competition. 
We wanna be right.
And if we’re not going to be right, then we avoid the conversation altogether. 
This doesn’t strengthen the relationship. 
Today's episode will teach you 4 ways to communicate better with your spouse and CONNECT when there’s a disagreement:
Don’t look at it as a competition. No one “wins” or “loses.”Don’t take it personally. It’s not about your competence or level of smartness. It’s about getting on the same page.Communicate your thoughts. You have an opinion. Share it… respectfully. Agree to create safety. This means respect and sticking around for the conversation.It might feel like a stretch, but conflict will actually bring the two of you closer.

"Life was easier without my wife and kids."

This thought might bubble up, especially when your to-do list is overwhelming and work pressure is high.

It's an urge to go back to simpler times with less responsibilities and less people to take care of. 

It's not a thought men are proud of. Not something they talk about.

Yet, talking about it and giving it some airtime is usually the most helpful way to navigate it.

The more we shove it down, the louder it tends to get. Then it's running in our subconscious mind and dictating our actions. 

We're easily annoyed and build up resentment toward situations or people at home. 

In today's episode, we lean on Dr. Richard Schwartz's "parts" work to help understand why the thought is there, and how to quiet it down so we can be a solid dad and husband.